Kids need to take responsibility for their emotions, their attitudes, and their behavior, and we as parents need to take responsibility for doing the parenting rather than letting our kids parent us. The following exercise will help you get a sense of how well your kids and you are doing.
Like all of us adults, children benefit by learning to use feelings in the ways for which God created them: as signals about the state of our soul.
1. Which emotions, if any, do you personally have trouble taking ownership of and/or controlling in a healthy way? What will you do to resolve this and thereby improve what you are modeling for your children?
2. Which emotions do your kids seem to have particular difficulty managing? What might you do to help them?
We can help our children see the consequences of their attitudes and how they need to take responsibility for them.
1. What attitudes do you see each of your children taking toward the following?
- Self (strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes?)
- Role in the family
- God (who he is and how to relate to him)
- School (their interests and duties)
- Moral Issues
3. When kids have a problem, they (like adults) benefit from learning to examine what they may have done to contribute to the problem. What will you do this week to teach or reinforce this principle in your home?
Children learn to conduct themselves in private and in public through love, teaching, modeling, and experiences. They need to learn how they act is their responsibility.
1. Children link their emotions to their actions with no intervening agents such as thoughts, values, or empathy for others. They have no sense of, "What might happen if I act on my feelings?" What behaviors have you seen in your children that support this assertion?
2. As a parent, make it more painful for your child to be impulsive than to restrain behaviors. Also, build intervening agents into children by utilizing the concepts of validation, instruction and experience. In what current situation in your home can you apply these three steps?