1. What are you doing to discourage functional dependency? What consequences are you allowing your child to deal with so that he learns the importance of taking responsibility for himself? Who is supporting you as you enforce these consequences?
2.What are you doing to encourage relational dependency? Start by noting which of the following are already a part of your parenting reportoire.
- Confronting isolation
- Waiting until you are invited to help
- Encouraging him to express his wants, needs and opinions
- Recognizing and respecting his own rhythm of when he needs to be close and when he needs distance from you
- Not being intrusive and affectionate when he clearly needs to be more seperate
- Not abandoning him when he needs more intimacy
1. Has your child overcommitted himself, trying to put too many activities in too little time? What evidence of this do you see?
2. What system have you or could you set up that will break down if she does too much? Consider factoring in such age appropriate requirements as an acceptable grade point average in school, four nights at home with the family each week, an established bedtime, and no signs of fatigue or stress.
Stop Avoiding Consequences
1. When have you recently seen evidence of your little angels criminal mind at work? How did you respond?
2. What are the consequences for dishonesty? What do you do to reward honesty and to encourage dishonesty in your home?