1. Where is your child on the spectrum of obeying to avoid punishment and obeying because it's the right thing to do? Let "1" be behavior dictated by the outside, external restraints, and you the parent and "10" be owning behavior and doing the right things for the right reasons.
2. Detachment is one of the enemies of the kid of contact that enables your child to grow. Consider how detached a parent you are. Do you express your feelings of love for your child? Do you let yourself get close? If you answer no to these questions, where will you go to find supportive relationships in which you can learn to be vulnerable and accessible- and when will you go?
3. Conditional love is another enemy of the kid of parent-child contact that enables a child to grow. Are you connecting to your child only when he is doing? Are you withdrawing when his behavior is bad? If your answer is yes, what will you do to break this pattern?
4. As a parent, you can express your awareness of the pain of consequences for your own irresponsibility, model right behavior, and acknowledge what pain your actions may cause for your friends and God. Even as all that is happening, create many experiences for your children to internalize these realities and own them for themselves. What opportunity for that internalization can you anticipate having this week? Be ready!